Update 2023: This child has since desisted from her “trans” identity and is a high-functioning young woman with her body intact and has a loving and supportive relationship with her parents.
The following account documents the experience of a family who attended a one-hour appointment at SickKids Gender Clinic in Toronto where they were told their daughter was a good candidate for the puberty blocker Lupron and would be able to start receiving the injections at the next appointment.
Sick Kids Gender Clinic Review
Several years ago, our 14 year old daughter advised us that she was transgender and wanted to be a boy. Over the next several months – although often requested – she did little to elaborate on her feelings or any other information on how or why she felt this way. Our family doctor counselled her a few times and she saw one psychologist once and a psychotherapist approximately three times before we sought out a referral to the gender clinic at Sick Kids hospital in Toronto.
Approximately one year after our daughter had suddenly begun to identify as a boy, we attended Sick Kids Hospital. We filled out a survey as did our daughter asking questions about our daughter’s childhood. We had an interview session with a physician and a male student observer as a family for about 30 minutes. The context that we gave to the counsellors during our portion of the session was that we felt that at least one of our daughter’s peers had greatly influenced this transgender epiphany. Further, she had recently been seeing a psychotherapist that was coaching her on what to say to Sick Kids to get hormone treatment right away. Our daughter had disclosed this to us after the third visit with this therapist. Lastly, her gender dysphoria had come about suddenly with the onset of puberty at age 14 with no previous indication of gender identity issues. Our daughter denied all of this during this interview.
We were asked to leave and our daughter then spoke with them without us for another 15 minutes. After that, we were invited back into the room and advised that they could not disclose what was discussed citing confidentiality but that our daughter did in fact have gender dysphoria. Further, they considered her to be a good candidate for Lupron but they could not give her a prescription until we had blood work done and the mandatory 3 month waiting period was complete. They handed us a lab requisition form for the blood work further stating that on our next visit they could administer the hormone blockers if the blood work was done.
We asked to speak to the counsellors in the absence of our child so we could express more detail about our concerns without upsetting, alienating or damaging our relationship with our daughter. They refused, stating that the confidentiality was with her, not with us and whatever we said to them without our daughter present they would just tell her anyway so we might as well say it in front of her. We questioned the safety and hastiness of the drug administration. We were advised “the sooner the better” and that Lupron simply puts puberty on hold and is fully reversible, which we knew is not entirely true. They commended us on our knowledge of the hormone blocker Lupron but totally ignored our concerns and minimized the risks.
We left the hospital shocked at the outcome. Not feeling that a one-hour long interview with a child and ignoring all parental input and concerns was sufficient to start on a course of hormones. We never returned to Sick Kids hospital.
Our daughter is now 17 and continues to identify as transgender, but has not expressed any desire to take any sort of medical intervention since our visit to Sick Kids. She continues to function well emotionally, socially and academically. She has close friends with which she socializes outside of school, works part-time and is on the honour role.
Thank you for sharing your story – I thought I was the only one! We had a similar experience about a year ago. Even my daughter was taken aback at how cursory it was and how little the family was consulted. We were also told that Lupron is fully reversible. When I asked about bone density loss, they recommended calcium supplements and said “… we wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t safe.” We were told to come back in a couple of weeks for the monthly Lupron clinic in order to get a prescription. They told my daughter she could have Lupron even without our permission.
It’s clear to me now that Sick Kids is a medical clinic that exists to support medical transition. And for some kids I’m sure it is a godsend. It’s not a place for figuring out if someone really needs to just wait-and-see or to get therapy. No one should go there unless they’ve already made the call to start medicalization. But that’s not really clear to confused kids and parents out there. We hear about this clinic for trans teens, which sounds great on the surface, and in our case it was easy to get a referral with almost no investigation. Once there, the default stance is 100% affirming, the assumption is that you are ready to get started, and medicalization is the answer. I can see how it’s easy to get swept up by it.
We also didn’t go back and my daughter desisted a few months later, after therapy helped her resolve other unrelated issues that likely were the real problem. (I emphasize that we only did one initial visit and I do not have experience with what it’s like if someone chooses to move forward.)
Thank you for sharing this.
Don’t blame the clinic for you being a transphobic parent, I hope your son finds real family one day. Shame on you & all these “parents”
The child has since desisted and is very happy as a young woman.
Good for you. A supportive psych is Dr. Joseph Burger in TO.
Is he still around? I can’t seem to locate him on a Google search. It would be nice to know which therapists and doctors are more cautious in their approach to treating these complex and vulnerable kids.
As doctors, psychologists and other healthcare providers, it behooves us to tread extremely carefully when messing with childrens’ natural biology.
Has anyone done inquiry to understand why so many children are now identifying as Trans? This cannot be a random act or fate? It appears to have a genesis somewhere in public schools but should be further investigated.
Acceptance. 20% of gen z now identify as lgbt+.. If you asked 20 years ago, the number would have been far far less. Despite that, people should keep in mind that suicide rates are still the highest among lgbt+ youth. People should get 2nd or even 3rd opinions before going ahead with such big changes..IMO
Hi dear Lisa
Because the school and society, encouraging them to choose their gender.
They are brain washing them
There is a theory that this is a social craze similar to other forms of self harm that spread through female friend groups. We saw this with bulimia and anorexia, and later with cutting. The new trend is identifying as trans. There is a lot of evidence to support this theory including one large study that found that a girl was far more likely to identify as trans if she had a friend that did. This study looked specifically at adolescent girls who did not fit the normal pattern of trans identification; that is they had what the study called late onset gender dysphoria. Unlike the typical trans demographic that is made up of primarily biological males who developed gender dysphoria in early childhood, the girls in this study did not identify as trans until they reached adolescence. This study also found that many girls (about 65%) had begun spending significantly more time online just before coming out as trans. Currently online groups, influencers, our schools and society at large glorify and celebrate those who identify as trans. We don’t have good information about how many of these young girls are actually trans and how many are falling victim to this social craze because it is too soon to have good data on the number of people who de-transition. And there is no way to properly diagnose gender dysphoria especially when kids are being coached on what to say to medical professionals. Having said that the historical data from the 1980’s estimated that about 0.01 % (1 in 10,000) of the general public in North America was trans. In 2018 stats Can put out a report that this number increased to 0.24% or 1 in 400. Then in 2021 it was even higher at 0.33% (that’s a 50% increase in just 3 years!) and more than a 30 x increase from historical numbers. While some people claim that this increase is likely due to increased acceptance there is very little evidence to support this. First of all the increase is occurring primarily in adolescent and teen girls/young women; exactly the group that is most susceptible to social crazes. If the rate of female to male trans people is truly this high where are all the middle aged women that we would expect to now come out as trans? Furthermore, countries like Sweden that have been very accepting of trans people for decades now are also seeing this massive increase in female to male trans identifying people within the last 10 years. The timing does not line up for these countries that have long been celebrating and accepting of trans people.
Another factor that is likely contributing to this increase in trans identifiers is the mental health epidemic among adolescents and teens. Kids are experiencing depression and anxiety at higher rates than ever before. The correlation between poor mental health and identifying as trans is very clear. In this group of ‘late onset gender dysphoric” girls, the mental health problems tend to begin before the gender dysphoria. What it looks like is that kids are in a mental health crisis and are told (by people online, friends, therapists and educators) that this could be caused by the fact that they were born in the wrong body. Couple this with the fact that kids gain a sense of belonging and immediate social status upon identifying as trans and it is not hard to imagine why some confused depressed children might think this is the answer. The vast majority of these children need proper mental health care not hormone therapy. Unfortunately ‘treatment’ with hormone blockers then ‘gender affirming’ hormone therapy basically guarantees that these kids will grow up to be sterile and have sexual disfunction because they don’t progress through the normal development that occurs during puberty. So Sick Kids is sterilising young girls on mass AND wants praise for doing so. It’s truly sickening. And I haven’t even mentioned ‘top surgery’…….
The one at CHEO in Ottawa is the same. Your daughter is lucky to have parents like you. Thank you for bringing this to light.
Thank you for this comment. It would be great to learn more. We’ve been told the CHEO parent support group is run by pro-transition activists that make it impossible for parents to question or consider alternatives for their kids. Very concerning given that parents will face 5 years in prison if they are viewed as unsupportive of their child’s gender transition once Bill C6 is in place.
Thank you for this story. I have a 15 yr old daughter who is trans identified but not seeking medical treatment. I have extensively reviewed with her the NHS new guidelines on puberty blockers that came out in August – for example they warn about not reaching peak height or peak IQ and in my case she was quite put off by the side effects and we have gone no further.
Your email address indicates that you’re in Canada. It doesn’t seem right that you need to go outside the country to seek evidence-based information about the side-effects of medical interventions for gender dysphoria. We’ll work on making sure our public healthcare system is more transparent about these treatments.
“Gender affirming only” care, including medicalization, appears to be going to full steam ahead in Canada, despite the pause being exercised in other jurisdictions such as in Sweden and the UK.
There is pressure on health care workers who challenge this narrative. Psychologists who don’t agree with affirmative- only care are keeping quiet. Physicians, too, have largely been silent on the issue.
Medical transition is more easily accessible and at younger ages than ever before, despite the evidence for harm and the lack of evidence for benefit and long term safety.
Kids can also bypass a visit to their family physician for a referral and can be referred to a gender specialist directly from school. Parents are sometimes kept completely out of the conversation.
These children need months, likely years of therapy, before medical transition should even be considered, given the huge burden of comorbid psychiatric conditions.
If it was my child, I would take them out of country too, if I had to.
not you misgendering him, that’s real embarrassing.
you don’t have to transition to be transgender.
also, when it comes to mental health stuff, even stuff around gender identity, they’re legally required to keep it confidential unless the person says they’re planning to hurt themselves or others. educate yourself before you speak.
This is sickening that this would be allowed to happen to children and kids. They can’t vote, drive or drink but they can make medical decisions like this without parental consent. Lupron that they use on kids as a puberty blocker is the same drug they use to medical castrate sex offenders. You only hit puberty once and allow nature to take its course and allow these kids to discover themself through life until adults and then make these decisions. I blame a lot of parents for pushing this onto kids especially at a young age. Disgraceful.